she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
