So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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