hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's rum buckets o'clock
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
