my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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