we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
