I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
