I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
