the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
