What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
