She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
