Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Randomize
