i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
