my vag is so smooth its legendary
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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