wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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