i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I want a musical about memes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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