i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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