dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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