that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
