Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
