I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
