Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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