Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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