Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
