So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
