wake up i wanna do it froggy style
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
