2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
