This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
