I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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