Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
