Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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