I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
