Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
