There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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