'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
