What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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