So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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