I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i think my cat just said my name.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
