Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I have post one night stand depression
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
