I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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