They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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