Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize