Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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