I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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