hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize