Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
