The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
