Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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