i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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