Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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