Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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