I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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