yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
