News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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