she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
