it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
