GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize