I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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