Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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