I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
