I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Houston, we have a squirter
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize