Say something about gay babies.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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