Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
