and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
