I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
