I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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